Step 9: How To Handle Making Amends for Marital Infidelity

guy and girl holding hands

Contributor: Crystal Karges, MS, RDN, IBCLC Special Projects Coordinator at Eating Disorder Hope/Addiction Hope

When under the influence of an addiction to alcohol or drugs, men and women often make decisions that they come to regret later. When a substance compromises cognition and rationality, making positive choices that ultimately support the best interest of your life and those closest to you is bypassed entirely.

Many individuals struggling with an addiction make poor decisions under the influence, particularly in situations in impulsivity is triggered and intensified.

Work Through Infidelity

Upset couple not talking to each other after fightMarital infidelity is a difficult circumstance to work through, one that takes unwavering dedication and commitment to saving and rebuilding a marriage.

Unfortunately, many individuals make the decision to be unfaithful to their spouse in the heat of a moment or in a situation in which they are heavily influenced by drugs or alcohol.

While this may not have been an intentional decision, it is still a choice that results in devastating consequences for both parties involved.

Broken Trust

When trust has been broken, it takes a genuine expression of positive and proactive actions to demonstrate the desire to rebuild that trust.

While apologizing is a good first step in verbalizing and expressing remorse and grief for the misgivings that have occurred, there also needs to be an observable change in behavior to truly show a desire to make amends for marital infidelity.

Man and woman holding hands at a tableIf you or your spouse has been involved in marital infidelity while under the influence of addiction and desire to make amends in your marriage, consider the steps you can take towards repairing your relationship.

Making the decision to receive professional help for your addiction should be a top priority, and involving your spouse with marriage and family therapy can be a therapeutic step for you both.

Having regular accountability with a mentor and your spouse can also help you stay on track when it comes to making amends with your loved one.

Maintaining transparency and open communication with your spouse will also be an important aspect towards making amends through marital infidelity. Understand that your spouse may have questions about the past, and it is essential to be as open and honest as possible.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

What factors do you think are important to consider when attempting to make amends in a marriage that has been damaged by infidelity? How can counseling be a helpful part of this?

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About the Author: Crystal is a Masters-level Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN) with a specialty focus in eating disorders, maternal/child health and wellness, and intuitive eating. Combining clinical experience with a love of social media and writing, Crystal serves as the Special Projects Coordinator for Eating Disorder Hope/Addiction Hope, where her passion to help others find recovery and healing is integrated into each part of her work.

As a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, Crystal has dedicated her career to helping others establish a healthy relationship with food and body through her work with EDH/AH and nutrition private practice.

The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of addictions. These are not necessarily the views of Addiction Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

We at Addiction Hope understand that addictions result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an addiction, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on December 28, 2015
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