Contributor: Contributor: Ryan Moffat, BS in Bible and Theology from Multnomah University. Pastor of Vast Church.
The authority battles start early and are OFTEN as Michelle and I raise our 4 kids. We have argued about some of the most pointless and silly nuances in life these past 11 years.
Teaching to Love
We have argued with our oldest about how loud and how often she can sing the theme song to Frozen, “Let it Go” (she has a knack for singing as loud as she can and annoying her younger siblings), we’ve argued with my son that he isn’t Darth Vader (even though he thinks he is) THEREFORE he doesn’t have the “right” to go around hitting his sisters with a light saber re-enacting the infamous “Luke vs. Darth Vader” fight.
With all of these battles there has been a common thread, a common key moment when our kids see our wisdom (“don’t hit each other”) our perspective (“life is best lived loving each other not annoying each other”) and our authority (“we are here to protect you and help you flourish, not squash your joy”) become an asset and a value instead of a hindrance.
Learning We Aren’t in Charge
I think this is how most of life is lived; we fumble around in our folly, our addictive, self-inflicting darkness yet we have wisdom (from God, from parents, from loved ones) that is very real and incredibly beneficial BUT ironically it is useless until we SIT UNDER IT’S AUTHORITY INSTEAD OF OUR OWN!
It’s the moment we yield and take the paradoxical disposition “I am no longer in charge” that we simultaneously gain what we most want- relational safety and the gift of accountability (somebody knowing us and loving us and making sure we no longer inflict pain on self).
The counter-intuitive shift is this: It’s only once I admit that I’m not my own authority (the truth) that I have the power and capacity to truly embrace recovery and change (the freedom).
Inviting Change
As I spend more time talking, pastoring, and counseling people I have found that the individuals who change aren’t the ones who have mastered life, they’re not the ones who are financially stable, they’re not the one’s who are socially “in” and have nice families, good jobs and white picket fences.
Those who I have had the sacred pleasure and privilege to watch change are those who have come to an end of themselves.
They’re spiritually and practically tired and they’ve abandoned the bravado of “my will, my way” and have traded the persona of self-sufficiency for the free gift of God’s grace, His knowledge and His authority. They’ve essentially just decided to give up and accept this amazing offer:
“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest”
-Jesus of Nazareth
Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!
Have you struggled with giving up control in your addiction recovery? What has helped you to turn this corner?
About the author:
Ryan received his BS in Bible and Theology and a minor in counseling from Multnomah University. He has pastored students, families and is passionate about Christ-centered recovery and healing. He’s been married to his beautiful wife Michelle for 13 years and they enjoy raising four crazy, unique and special kids together.
Ryan is the teaching pastor at Vast Church in Sisters, OR and is currently working on his Masters in Theology at Western Seminary in Portland, OR
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of addiction. These are not necessarily the views of Addiction Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
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Published on AddictionHope.com