I had to get rid of the victim mentality to move forward in my healing journey. I couldn’t become a victor until I stopped believing that I was a victim.
Victim and victor sound similar, but the only thing that separates them are the last two letters; a small difference, with an enormous impact. Sometimes in life two letters is all it takes - or that extra dedication to recovery - to make a substantial change.
Taking Personal Responsibility
Victims blame their problems on others, whereas victors step up and create their successes in spite of their problems. Victims choose to see the negative in every situation; victors, the positive. I had a victim mentality for many years, and as a result, I lived in negative circumstances.
Although mental health issues are not the sufferer’s fault, at some point the individual needs to take personal responsibility for his or her recovery. I blamed everyone around me and didn’t take the necessary steps to seek help for my problems.
Recovery has given me such a tremendous gift; it has helped me to see that although many terrible things have happened to me, I have a choice to continue changing for the better. I believe the same will happen for you if you make some small adjustments in your thinking.
--Washed Away: From Darkness to Light [1]
As an addict, I was stuck in victim mode for most of my life. However, I couldn’t realize that until I had gained self-awareness; then and only then, was I able to gather the tools necessary to move forward in my life in a responsible manner.
I must admit though, the victim mode was a constant temptation, reminding me that it was okay to not take responsibility for myself; after all, I would always be an addict at my core.
Sharpening Your Mind
But no matter what my disease of addiction whispered or screamed (and still tries to from time to time), I choose to be a victor. Living a life free from addiction is a choice, and one that I have to make over and over again.
To live victoriously sounds wonderful, but it’s every bit of sweat and tears mixed in with sheer determination. To be a victor takes leadership skills, and unfortunately, those skills don’t come naturally to everyone.
Our minds have to be sharpened and renewed until we think less and less like a victim, and more like a victor.
One small change in the way we think daily can take us from being an addict to a victorious person, recovered and helping others live free, too.
About the Author: Nikki DuBose is a former model turned author, advocate, and ambassador. Her debut memoir, Washed Away: From Darkness to Light, details her recovery from trauma, severe mental illnesses and the dark side of the modeling industry. Nikki has been featured on television shows and networks such as The Doctors, The TD Jakes Show, CBS Los Angeles, and the Oprah Winfrey Network, and profiled in publications such as People, LA Times, Vogue UK, Esquire, India Times, and Inquisitr. To find out more about Nikki, visit http://nikkidubose.com/.
References:
[1] DuBose, Nikki. Washed Away: From Darkness to Light. 2016. Outskirts Press, Inc.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of addictions. These are not necessarily the views of Addiction Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Addiction Hope understand that addictions result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an addiction, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on March 26, 2017.
Published on AddictionHope.com