Step 9: What To Do If Someone Becomes Angry and Belligerent When You Are Making Amends?

Upset couple having an argument

Contributor: Crystal Karges, MS, RDN, IBCLC Special Projects Coordinator at Eating Disorder Hope/Addiction Hope

Making Amends

Addiction Hope The Dangerous Consequences of DrunkorexiaMaking amends with those in your life who may have been hurt by poor decisions or choices you have made is never an easy process.

Taking the step to repairing a broken relationship requires humbling yourself, being able to openly discuss your past, recognize the hurt you have caused, and express remorse for the pain you may have inflicted.

In the process of making amends with loved ones, you may find that some individuals in your life are more receptive than others.

Even people in your life who are good intentioned and mean well can become defensive and angry when hurt or if placed in a difficult situation.

It is important to understand that as you attempt to make amends with the ones you love, everyone may react differently. While some people embrace the positive steps you are taking to repair a broken relationship, others may react for angrily.

Repressed Feelings and Anger

Repressed feelings often come to the surface during discussions in which the past is revisited, particularly if a painful situation is being addressed for the first time.

This may cause a person to become angry, even belligerent, in your attempt to make amends, and this may come from a place of deep hurt and pain.

happy little girl and her mother having fun outdoors on the green grass in sunny summer dayIf you have found yourself in a situation where a person has become visibly angry and belligerent towards you, it is important to remove yourself to safe environment.

Even when making amends with someone, you do not need to subject yourself to a situation that can be potentially violent or dangerous.

While it might be easy to engage with a person at this level, do your best to maintain your composure and cut the conversation short.

You can always attempt to revisit the conversation at a later time, perhaps after the people you are seeking to make amends with has had more time to process and deal with their own pain.

If you are unsure how someone may react and are fearful of situation that may spiral out of control, consider having the conversation in the presence of other people who understand and support you, such as your therapist/counselor, or other family members who ultimately have your back.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

Have you been in a situation where someone reacted angrily towards you when attempting to make amends? If so, how did you work through this situation?

Crystal Karges photo

About the Author: Crystal is a Masters-level Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN) with a specialty focus in eating disorders, maternal/child health and wellness, and intuitive eating. Combining clinical experience with a love of social media and writing, Crystal serves as the Special Projects Coordinator for Eating Disorder Hope/Addiction Hope, where her passion to help others find recovery and healing is integrated into each part of her work.

As a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, Crystal has dedicated her career to helping others establish a healthy relationship with food and body through her work with EDH/AH and nutrition private practice.

The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of addictions. These are not necessarily the views of Addiction Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

We at Addiction Hope understand that addictions result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an addiction, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on December 31, 2015
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