Step 9: If I Tell You What I Did, Will You Hate Me?

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Contributor: Crystal Karges, MS, RDN, IBCLC Special Projects Coordinator at Eating Disorder Hope/Addiction Hope

The process of recovering from an addiction involves being real with yourself and others and coming to terms with the manner in which addiction has taken over your life.

Painful Past

lady leaning on chairYou cannot clearly know where you are going unless you understand where you have been, and while it can be painful to deal with the past and relive a difficult chapter of your life, honestly working through any misgivings can be healing and therapeutic.

A common fear of coming forward in honesty about your past with those closest to you is that of rejection. Fear of being rejected or hated by those you love for your past mistakes or poor decisions can cause you to further internalize your pain or hide in dishonesty from the aspects involved with your addiction.

Many individuals struggling with addiction are often in denial about how their habits and behaviors have affected those closest to them. It can also be easy to isolate yourself from those you love, hiding your addiction to yourself.


Effectively healing and recovering from an addiction begins with being honest with yourself and others.

While you may fear the rejection that comes with sharing openly about your past and the choices you may have made while under the influence of your addiction, you will also find freedom in being honest and no longer feeling as though you need to hide from your past.

Man and woman holding hands at a tableYou may also find that those who truly love you will support you through thick and thin.

While there may be broken trust, shock, and a degree of betrayal that comes in revealing the truth about your past, those who love you will likely appreciate your honesty.

Honesty in itself is an expression of love and demonstration of the desire to rebuild a relationship.

Including your loved ones in your recovery by sharing openly of your past and experiences with your addiction will show your sincerity and genuine strides towards getting help and repairing relationships.

If you have found yourself struggling with being honest about your past with loved ones due to fear of rejection, consider working with a therapist or counselor, who can help guide you through this difficult but necessary situation.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

Have you ever found yourself withholding the truth from loved ones due to fear of rejection? If so, how did you work through this situation? What is the importance of openness and honesty in addiction recovery?

Crystal Karges photo

About the Author: Crystal is a Masters-level Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN) with a specialty focus in eating disorders, maternal/child health and wellness, and intuitive eating. Combining clinical experience with a love of social media and writing, Crystal serves as the Special Projects Coordinator for Eating Disorder Hope/Addiction Hope, where her passion to help others find recovery and healing is integrated into each part of her work.

As a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, Crystal has dedicated her career to helping others establish a healthy relationship with food and body through her work with EDH/AH and nutrition private practice.

The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of addictions. These are not necessarily the views of Addiction Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

We at Addiction Hope understand that addictions result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an addiction, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on December 30, 2015
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