Sexual intimacy is on an all-out assault from the culture, and if you think it’s just men that are detaching from real human interaction to move toward the cheap replacement of porn and fantasies then think again. Women are developing intimacy Issues as well.
Pornography use among women is on the rise and it’s been reported that 1/3 of all Internet searches for porn today are coming from females. For men the draw starts primarily for the physical/sexual pleasure of porn but for women the draw is much more complex.
What the Bible Says
This could be an incredibly difficult social distortion to figure out, but if you start with the Bible, it’s amazing how simple life, addiction, sex and intimacy really are.
In the book of Song of Songs which is basically an erotic poem in the Old Testament about a husband and wife who have the most epic weekend of romance ever. We see an important interplay between the lover (husband) and the beloved (wife).
If you read through the whole book, you’ll hear a bunch of crazy metaphors the husband uses to admire and adore his wife and her beauty. He spends literally chapters wooing her in with praise, adoration, and encouragement.
What you see repeatedly is that the husband in this book is a man of honor, integrity, tenderness and love. This is the Bible’s picture of what a real man looks like: a man who knows how to create and foster a safe space for his lady.
Guess what this produces for the beloved (wife)? Here is her prompt, clear response in Song of Songs 4:16:
“Let my beloved come to his garden,
and eat its choicest fruits”
He builds the safe space and the beloved responds. Why? Because they are both built for RELATIONAL and EMOTIONAL intimacy as precursors to SEXUAL INTIMACY.
The point is clear….women (and men) are hardwired for relational intimacy, heart to heart engagement, not simply detached, non-committal sex. Addictions numb our relational core and lead to uninformed, disembodied sex.
Women, you weren’t made to simply be some man’s sexual partner. No, no, no…you were made as God’s treasure, as a daughter of the Most High God, as a co-heir of life to be fully involved and engaged in the joy and pleasure of sexual intimacy.
What your addiction promised (meaning, security, joy, and purpose) and has repeatedly failed to deliver is what only God alone can give you. Ladies, if you replaced real connection with cheap synthetics you can find the meaning, purpose, security and joy in God. Stop trying to seek fulfillment from a porn addiction when only Jesus can give provide it for you.
About the Author:
Ryan Moffat is the teaching pastor at Vast Church in Sisters, OR and is currently working on his Masters in Theology at Western Seminary in Portland, OR
Ryan received his BS in Bible and Theology and a minor in counseling from Multnomah University. He has pastored students, families and is passionate about Christ-centered recovery and healing. He’s been married to his beautiful wife Michelle for 13 years and they enjoy raising four crazy, unique and special kids together.
References:
[1]: https://www.xxxchurch.com/pornography-addiction-statistics?gclid=Cj0KEQjwy4zLBRCOg6-4h6vs3cUBEiQAN-yzfpJ0ZS5eLTYsT-71VBmr7PrAYtpyBWe0a9xqcuBVlzcaAp3-8P8HAQ
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of addictions. These are not necessarily the views of Addiction Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Addiction Hope understand that addictions result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an addiction, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Published on August 20, 2017
Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on August 20, 2017.
Published on AddictionHope.com