Any type of addiction can be trying on a marriage. The rebuilding of a marriage while in recovery from sexual addiction may be even more difficult. Sexual addiction negatively impacts the intimacy in a marriage.
This means the hurt can run very deep for the partner with an addicted spouse. Infidelity is frequently the byproduct of sexual addiction and trust must be rebuilt in order to repair a damaged marriage.
Start rebuilding by being honest with your spouse. Covering up an addiction often leads to a web of lies and it is difficult to escape. Coming clean and sharing your indiscretions with your spouse may be a positive but painful first step.
Talk with your therapist or sponsor on how best to approach your spouse. Offer to seek couples counseling to work through the pain together.
Check in frequently with your spouse. Let him know where you are going and when you will return. Offer to run errands together.
If you have triggering situations at work, look at changing employers. This is not a time to work late, come home on time and consider working from home if that is an option.
Commit to avoiding triggering situations and people, and do what you can to stay away from them completely.
Have a trusted friend help hold you accountable as well, there can be strength in numbers.
The mind can run rampant and process hundreds of ‘what ifs’. Save your spouse from this stress. Call, reassure, be patient and be loving.
Take your time.
Recovery from addiction is a process and it takes consistent work and effort. Rebuilding of a marriage is a process as well.
It will also take patience, consistent work and effort. Understand the ups and downs that your partner is going through, allow her the time to heal.
Encourage participation in Al-anon or other support groups where she can receive support from others that may be fighting to save their marriage.
Seek counselling, finding a therapist that can meet with you together, as well as separately, may be a huge help.
Understand that recovery, rebuilding and utilizing treatment teams will most likely have a financial impact.
We pay a contractor for our repairs needed to our home, we pay a mechanic to help repair our cars and a doctor to help heal our bodies. Paying to help recover from your addiction and repair and rebuild your marriage may be the best investment you ever made.
About the author: Jane McGuire is the Director of Content at Eating Disorder Hope & Addiction Hope. Jane graduated from Eastern Oregon University with a Bachelor’s degree in Business. Jane believes that everyone has a story of trial, that when shared, can be used to benefit and encourage someone else who is struggling to find hope and direction.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of addictions. These are not necessarily the views of Addiction Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Addiction Hope understand that addictions result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an addiction, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on January 31, 2016
Published on AddictionHope.com