How To Make Amends To An Old Flame


Contributor: Crystal Karges, MS, RDN, IBCLC Special Projects Coordinator at Eating Disorder Hope/Addiction Hope

Many people recovering from an addiction often can identify people in their lives at one point or another who may have been hurt directly as a result of poor choices that were made.

When under the influence of drugs or alcohol, decisions can be made that ultimately destroy relationships with loved ones and those in your life who you care for deeply.

This can be true of anyone who was in a committed relationship with someone they loved, but even the strongest of relationships can feel tested by the challenges that come with addiction.

Broken Relationship

Upset couple not talking to each other after fightPerhaps you were involved with someone in a romantic relationship, only to have that relationship broken by the destructive consequences of addiction.

Losing someone you love and care for deeply can be a difficult thing to come to terms with, especially if you invested significant time and effort in the relationship you once had.

The reality is that some people cannot easily recover from trust that has been broken, nor will the desire to maintain a romantic relationship continue after experiencing hurt and brokenness.

While you may have recovered from your addiction and successfully maintained sobriety, you may find that the person you fell in love with is no longer interested in continuing a relationship with you to the degree that once was before your addiction.

This may be something particularly difficult to handle and accept, especially if your feelings for this person have been unchanged. Making amends for the hurt and pain that you may have caused is still an important aspect of healing, even if there is no intention of rekindling the previous relationship.


Lady Whispering into man's earConsider having a heartfelt discussion with this person and take the opportunity to express remorse for past hurt and conflict.

By doing so, you can alleviate much of the guilt and regret that you may still be harboring and find some closure with this loved one from your past.

Being able to express and accept forgiveness is a helpful part of learning to forgive yourself and ultimately move forward with your journey in addiction recovery.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

What factors do you think are important to consider when attempting to make amends in with a past relationship that has been damaged by an addiction

Crystal Karges photo

About the Author: Crystal is a Masters-level Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN) with a specialty focus in eating disorders, maternal/child health and wellness, and intuitive eating. Combining clinical experience with a love of social media and writing, Crystal serves as the Special Projects Coordinator for Eating Disorder Hope/Addiction Hope, where her passion to help others find recovery and healing is integrated into each part of her work.

As a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, Crystal has dedicated her career to helping others establish a healthy relationship with food and body through her work with EDH/AH and nutrition private practice.

The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of addictions. These are not necessarily the views of Addiction Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

We at Addiction Hope understand that addictions result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an addiction, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on January 1, 2016
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