Porn addiction is “sticky”. Because pornography latches into the brain’s natural reward circuits, extended use can radically alter the way a brain functions. Once the brain has adapted to this new “way of life”, pulling away from porn feels like pulling away from super glue!
Faced with a wealth of treatment approaches for pornography addiction, this article will help you understand some of the differences. I’ll start with helping you grasp the “Psychological” side, and then we will look at the “Practical” side of treatment.
The Psychological Side
Behavioral and Cognitive Approaches
Behavioral approaches to addiction are helpful in preventing unwanted behaviors.
A combination of removing rewards, increasing “punishments” and preventing normal acting-out behaviors is fundamental to a recovery program.
Behavioral techniques can be a real boost in helping you live differently.
Cognitive approaches can address the messages we tell ourselves, including how we can misinterpret information and make assumptions about others or ourselves.
A key piece in recovery is weeding out the distorted thinking patterns that addiction promotes.
Often, our underlying view of ourselves grows and distorts into self-loathing and critical statements such as, “I am so disgusting”, “no one will meet my needs if I stop”, or “I don’t deserve real intimacy”.
Values and goals deserve special mention as parts of the recovery journey that provide motivation, direction and sustenance when you just get stuck! Considering what drives you and provides meaning is a powerful tool that you can use to push away from sticky addiction.
Mindfulness Approaches
Addiction is very clever at teaching you not to be aware, pay attention to legitimate needs, or focus on the things you really need. Working on your ability to “place your attention” where you would like it and respond to your internal experience is very important.
One key area mindfulness unlocks is the ability to attend correctly to our emotions—the messages and motivators of life. Getting a better grasp on how we are feeling will allow us to make better decisions.
Family Systems and Trauma Approaches
Families and difficult experiences shape our reactions as we react to memories and guiding schemas (models of self and the world).
The dynamics of life and the betrayals you have experienced in the past all contribute to what you are longing for now.
You have probably heard of addiction as “medication” for a hurt?
There is a lot of truth in this statement, and the hurts are often deeper and more painful than we dare admit—these hurts and needs are foundations of addiction that need to be understood.
I recommend working with people or groups that understand all of the above psychological aspects and appreciate how they work in conjunction with one another—no single approach is complete on its own.
The Practical Side
Groups and Individual Work
Group work is a shame buster! You take the risky step of being known by others in your addicted state. Yet the community quickly helps you feel accountable, respected, valued and wanted. Shame can’t stand this type of enriching experience and so it is diminished.
Furthermore, groups allow you to experience yourself in community. Often people will give you insights into yourself as you interact and are willing to learn from them.
Individual work often allows you to mine into the hurts you carry and build effective strategies that you might never have dreamt of. A trained therapist or consultant will be able to see the “sticky” parts of the addiction in ways people may have just gotten used to.
We are a complex web of past experiences, present choices, and how we interact with opportunities in our future.
Self Study
There are rich resources out there, (for example: www.stopsexualaddiction.com, or workbooks) which can lead you through a course of self-study, behavioral and relationship changes.
These are always a good adjunct to any therapy, groups or other treatment you find.
A key benefit self-study brings is maintaining and focusing your personal agency as you make changes in your life.
It feels rewarding to work hard and you need all of the healthy “feel goods” you can when leaving an addiction behind.
Couples Therapy
Committed relationships are usually rocked by pornography addiction. Rebuilding trust and intimacy with a partner can be a challenge, especially when simply trying to navigate recovery. A trained therapist can help you navigate how to discuss recovery and the space, safety and connection both partners long for.
The Trifecta!
The trifecta that I recommend to anyone recovering from a porn addiction is this:
- Find a therapist to work through person concerns and lead your self-study
- Find a group to build accountability and honesty
- If you are in a relationship, find a couple’s therapist who understands building connections through recovery.
This will be an effective strategy.
The only caveat: you have to want recovery! If you are struggling with an addiction, start by getting really honest with yourself, and bring in a trusted friend to help you move forward.
The information above could seem overwhelming, but remember, to get “unstuck” you need to see the “sticky”.
Follow these simple steps to start peeling away from addiction:
- Find a trusted friend and share just how you are doing.
- Contact a therapist or group that will kick start your recovery journey.
- Remove as much access as possible to places or things that aid your addiction.
- Take a deep breath and know that you are not alone, you are not a failure, and you certainly are worth getting unstuck.
About the author: Written by Paul Loosemore, MA PLPC. Paul works as a mental health counselor, and consults with those who wish to recover from Sexual Addiction—He is the founder of www.stopsexualaddiction.com.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of addictions. These are not necessarily the views of Addiction Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Addiction Hope understand that addictions result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an addiction, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on January 20, 2016
Published on AddictionHope.com